DAY160 in ETOBICOKE

I guess you could say, "It's summer time and the living is easy",
But the atmosphere is cool and the living is not.

Being a home owner is tough shiz. It's kind of like I'm juggling an egg, a bowling ball and a baseball. I'm juggling... I'm juggling... I dropped the baseball because let's face it I can't juggle ... juggling... I'm juggling .. trying not to crush the egg, trying not to crush the egg and now I've dropped the bowling ball... and oh shit there's a hole in my floor and oh no! Now there's egg in the hole that used to be my floor.

There's that.

Also, there seem to be too many captains of the boat which is my life.

I'm not sure when this became a group decision. Or when everyone suddenly started only looking out for themselves. But I often wonder why I'm not allowed to join that club? Why is that frowned upon? I constantly find people trying to make decisions for my life, which are not right for my life at all. It's my life. I should star in my own life, or be the alpha in my own life. Instead I find myself being bullied into decisions that don't feel right.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore!

But then again who really does?

Work is work is work. I love my job, but my job doesn't always like me back ... or my knees or my shoulders really. So I've got a guy for that.

And that is where we're at.

WHAT STORY TELLING HAS DONE FOR MY LIFE

Everyone has a story to tell. How they choose to share it can be as simple as writing it down, whispering it tell a secret, or even broadcasting it across the internet.

I love storytelling. I think it's the most human thing you can do.

I remember hearing a recording of my 3 year old self, telling my mother and father that I wanted a bird and them not being able to get a word in.

My photography and video work has been an extension of this wanting to tell a story. Except, now I can share them in so many words. (Not to mention a format that someone will want to listen in)

In the past 12 months,  I have had opportunities to tell other people's stories in a way that they couldn't do for themselves. At the beginning of the summer I filmed / edited a few things for some weddings.

The money has been sitting on my desk for months.

I kept thinking of the different equipment or tools I could spend it on. What combination would benefit me the most? What should I do with this?

camera lens + video editing equipment, really fancy camera lens, lens + photography course, video editing + course, flashes, save it and What do I need to take this to the next level?

I literally, every day have been thinking about this .. actively thinking.

Then my sister-in-law (Saira) informs me that she has gigs lined up. And now there is another question forming in my head... "When does this go from becoming a hobby to a real job?"

I almost feel like I'm coming out.

Like this has always been part of who I was and everyone around me could see it and I've been in denial this whole time, but I'm finally ready to own it.

I think I'm ready to actively seek these opportunities out and I don't know where to start. 

I'm definitely not at the point of "passion over paycheque", but I'm ready to hustle.

I'm ready to take my passions to the next level. And I hope you're not letting fear of unknown outcomes stop you either.

Anyways, bye for now, always,
Khristine